Running states and countries is not an easy job...but what's even harder is trying to keep their foot out of their mouth. Entertainingly dumb & funny quotes from U.S. presidents and former presidential candidates:
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." - Gerald Ford
“There's nothing left…but to get drunk.” - Franklin Pierce after losing the Democratic nomination (Cheers Franky!)
"Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening." –Bill Clinton (you've got a lot of people under your desk, Mr. Prez)
“Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.” - Lyndon B. Johnson
"You lose." - Calvin Coolidge after a woman told him she made a bet that she could get at least three words of conversation from him.
“If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.”-Harry Truman (well more in Washington than everywhere else)
“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” - John F. Kennedy (somebody remembered his name...sorry that was wrong, no disrespect)
"I saw my father march with Martin Luther King." Mitt Romney - Romney's campaign later admitted that they didn't march on the same day, or in the same city
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" - Ronald Reagan (Honesty is very commendable in this line of work..AHEM AHEM ROMNEY)
"And the ultimate thing is, I may not be the expert that some people are on foreign policy, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night." Mike Huckabee (didnt know Sarah Palin came in a testosterone version)
"When we were in college we used to take a popcorn popper -- because that was the only thing they would let us have in the dorms -- and fry squirrels in the popcorn popper." Mike Huckabee (PETA, where yall at?)
"As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008 (i mean, it's Sarah Palin)
"We used to hustle over the border for health care we received in Canada. And I think now, isn't that ironic?" --Sarah Palin, admitting that her family used to get treatment in Canada's single-payer health care system, despite having demonized such government-run programs as socialized medicine that will lead to death-panel-like rationing, March 6, 2010 (Tell me again how you feel about illegals in America, Sarah)
"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." --Joe Biden on Barack Obama(wow, the first one?? and he became president?? imagine if there was another smart & clean African-American, he would have ur job Biden! im sure it just came out wrong, right Biden?)
"I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS. There's no shame in being tested for AIDS. It's an important thing." (very important for the Lewinskys of the world)
"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.... I'm not joking." --Joe Biden (you can go but u may not be able to work there?)
''Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?'' -- George W. Bush (Sr. Bush forgot to ask too)
''If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything! If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything!''--George W. Bush, Bellevue Community College, Nov. 2, 2000 (I read this a couple times bcuz i found it hard to believe it made no sense at all...that's how dumb this quote is, it had me questioning myself!)
''Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech.''--President George W. Bush, to Pope Benedict,Washington, D.C., April 15, 2008 (LMAO!! i should have a separate post for Bush Jr. and Palin)
''There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.''--President George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002.(wow...cut Obama some slack please, look whose mess he's cleaning up)
''Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.''--President George W. Bush, Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004(i think i know what he means, i guess if i were a guy i would get into that field too!)
*All of these quotes were taken off these sites below:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/
And
Read more at Suite101: Funny, Profound U.S. President Quotes & Sayings: Fun Presidential Quotes from Lincoln Truman Kennedy Reagan Obama http://www.suite101.com/content/funny-profound-us-president-quotes-sayings-a96435#ixzz10xUJHTgt
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Breakfast Dates with the BFF
The bff = http://danismetime.blogspot.com/
BREAKFAST 2 DAYS AGO...
6:43a.m. Snooze,
6:48a.m. Snooooze,
7:16a.m, “Ok, let's do this.”
Stylin'? Attempted.
Comfy? Check.
Bug-eyed shades to mask lingering sleepiness that won’t wash away.
Cozily-warm morning sun,
Sporadic drafts of breeze.
Thru the driver's side I crawl into the faithful boat-on-wheels.
Random conversation.
Yesterday’s gossip.
Boys, girl toys, last night’s joys, “oh shit – where are we eating?”
San Francisco Bread Company.
Suffocating stench of healthy living,
Baking breads, freshly brewed coffee - enough to lose the sunshades.
Focaccia, pesto chicken,
Sundried tomatoes, melted cheese.
Flavor-bomb rockets me across the Atlantic to the boot..fantastico!
Back to Arkansas.
Iced lemon-water,
The shade’s shield slowly surrendering to carmelize my exposed skin.
To cheat, a cookie.
Crawl back in.
Vamped for hours of unnecessary yet therapeutic shopping.
AND BREAKFAST TODAY...
6:43a.m. Snooze.
6:48a.m. Off.
Text msg at 7:53am “will be there in 30 mins.”
Stylin’? NOT!
Comfy? Sole mission.
Bug-eyed shades to mask lingering sleepiness that won’t wash away.
Cozily- warm morning sun,
Sporadic drafts of breeze.
Thru the driver's side I crawl into the faithful boat-on-wheels.
Random conversation.
Yesterday’s gossip.
Boys, girl toys, last night’s joys, “oh shit – where are we eating?”
Waffle House.
Invigorating essence of grease,
Sizzling sausage patties, hash browns - enough to lose the sunshades.
Chocolate chip n pecan waffle.
Not Canadian maple syrup,
Flavor-bomb as sinfully good as last night’s fête pour deux.
I am in Arkansas.
Inaudible twang n slang.
Across, fella fixin his britches. Behind, jukebox of music I ain never heard.
Manual credit card machine.
Ballooned from one waffle.
The only thing I’m good for is a recovery nap from a fulfilling morning.
x
Mel
BREAKFAST 2 DAYS AGO...
6:43a.m. Snooze,
6:48a.m. Snooooze,
7:16a.m, “Ok, let's do this.”
Stylin'? Attempted.
Comfy? Check.
Bug-eyed shades to mask lingering sleepiness that won’t wash away.
Cozily-warm morning sun,
Sporadic drafts of breeze.
Thru the driver's side I crawl into the faithful boat-on-wheels.
Random conversation.
Yesterday’s gossip.
Boys, girl toys, last night’s joys, “oh shit – where are we eating?”
San Francisco Bread Company.
Suffocating stench of healthy living,
Baking breads, freshly brewed coffee - enough to lose the sunshades.
Focaccia, pesto chicken,
Sundried tomatoes, melted cheese.
Flavor-bomb rockets me across the Atlantic to the boot..fantastico!
Back to Arkansas.
Iced lemon-water,
The shade’s shield slowly surrendering to carmelize my exposed skin.
To cheat, a cookie.
Crawl back in.
Vamped for hours of unnecessary yet therapeutic shopping.
AND BREAKFAST TODAY...
6:43a.m. Snooze.
6:48a.m. Off.
Text msg at 7:53am “will be there in 30 mins.”
Stylin’? NOT!
Comfy? Sole mission.
Bug-eyed shades to mask lingering sleepiness that won’t wash away.
Cozily- warm morning sun,
Sporadic drafts of breeze.
Thru the driver's side I crawl into the faithful boat-on-wheels.
Random conversation.
Yesterday’s gossip.
Boys, girl toys, last night’s joys, “oh shit – where are we eating?”
Waffle House.
Invigorating essence of grease,
Sizzling sausage patties, hash browns - enough to lose the sunshades.
Chocolate chip n pecan waffle.
Not Canadian maple syrup,
Flavor-bomb as sinfully good as last night’s fête pour deux.
I am in Arkansas.
Inaudible twang n slang.
Across, fella fixin his britches. Behind, jukebox of music I ain never heard.
Manual credit card machine.
Ballooned from one waffle.
The only thing I’m good for is a recovery nap from a fulfilling morning.
x
Mel
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!
Waitress: "Are yall done with that?"
I glanced down at the three-quarters that remained of the chocolate molten cake (which I was sharing, f.y.i.),
"No, no!" we reply back with reciprocating attitude.
We were not there for long. After a long road trip, scarfed down dinner to get to dessert. Is it so hard to accept that I want my cake AND I want to eat it too? Philosophically or literally...why get the cake if you ain't gonna eat it?
I might understand if it was almost closing time, or if it was busy or something but why rush us out for no reason? Either at an upscale restaurant, a cafeteria or at home, I've got to be seated comfortable with my drink, movie, or date all ready to go. Every meal should be an experience lol..ok that's extreme but if I am paying for this, let me enjoy it...I guarantee you it will pay you off in the end.
Just saying...
I glanced down at the three-quarters that remained of the chocolate molten cake (which I was sharing, f.y.i.),
"No, no!" we reply back with reciprocating attitude.
I might understand if it was almost closing time, or if it was busy or something but why rush us out for no reason? Either at an upscale restaurant, a cafeteria or at home, I've got to be seated comfortable with my drink, movie, or date all ready to go. Every meal should be an experience lol..ok that's extreme but if I am paying for this, let me enjoy it...I guarantee you it will pay you off in the end.
Just saying...
PUZZLED FACE
As we exit the womb that assembled us, the pieces to our life puzzle unscramble into a complex jigsaw and scatter all over destiny's map for us to find over destiny's timeline.
So, what if I don't find all my pieces before I run out of time??
It bothers me.
I believe we each have a purpose - regardless if yours is to make Ronald richer by surviving on his dollar menu diet, or something else of less significance - we were not put here by mistake (even if you were one).
Especially since graduating in Dec. 2008, I have never felt this lost in direction and purpose; I'm concerned that I'm wasting time not knowing and futhermore, not doing enough to figure it out. I've always been fairly spontaneous...one day at a time - laugh it off, drink it down, sleep it off, poop it out, whatever...and I'm having a great time but at the end of the day it's not going to get me what I want for myself. As long as moms n pops called the shots I got the best, and so it would be a complete disservice to them (and to me) not to continue climbing the ladder & just settle.
This world offers so much to do, so many places to see, and people to meet - Would you really want to miss out cuz you were sitting on your ass facebooking? Or hanging with people who stunt your growth? Or waiting finger-crossed for someone to fall back in love with you? I obsess that I won't live my life to the fullest...
We don't, but destiny and fate do, know what the final product of the puzzle is supposed to look like; however, we get to decide where we begin looking for the pieces and which one we want (or need) to find next...that much I know.
So, what if I don't find all my pieces before I run out of time? Do I fail? Or do i just shrug my shoulders and say "Well, at least I had one hell of a time searching!!"
To allow me to sleep tonight, then I come to the conclusion that if so much is pre-determined it would only make sense to believe we run out of time only when we set the last piece in place...
x
So, what if I don't find all my pieces before I run out of time??
It bothers me.
I believe we each have a purpose - regardless if yours is to make Ronald richer by surviving on his dollar menu diet, or something else of less significance - we were not put here by mistake (even if you were one).
Especially since graduating in Dec. 2008, I have never felt this lost in direction and purpose; I'm concerned that I'm wasting time not knowing and futhermore, not doing enough to figure it out. I've always been fairly spontaneous...one day at a time - laugh it off, drink it down, sleep it off, poop it out, whatever...and I'm having a great time but at the end of the day it's not going to get me what I want for myself. As long as moms n pops called the shots I got the best, and so it would be a complete disservice to them (and to me) not to continue climbing the ladder & just settle.
This world offers so much to do, so many places to see, and people to meet - Would you really want to miss out cuz you were sitting on your ass facebooking? Or hanging with people who stunt your growth? Or waiting finger-crossed for someone to fall back in love with you? I obsess that I won't live my life to the fullest...
We don't, but destiny and fate do, know what the final product of the puzzle is supposed to look like; however, we get to decide where we begin looking for the pieces and which one we want (or need) to find next...that much I know.
So, what if I don't find all my pieces before I run out of time? Do I fail? Or do i just shrug my shoulders and say "Well, at least I had one hell of a time searching!!"
To allow me to sleep tonight, then I come to the conclusion that if so much is pre-determined it would only make sense to believe we run out of time only when we set the last piece in place...
x
Mel
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
To my one & only
Dear H.N.I.C.,
This September will make 5 years. I'm glad after all this time, we are both alive meaning neither of us are in jail - pat yourself on the back baby cuz I just hi-fived myself! Your 4 feet long arms could slap your buttawcks (said how Mr. Gump would) if you reached over your shoulder but a pat on the back will do.
We are precisely 7678 miles apart...and I am missing you beyond explanation. Some days, when I'm not so busy, it’s worse because that means I have time to think. And so, I came up with a list of things I have never thanked you for...I might be doing this cuz I know you're not on blogger.com but I'm sure you'll read it one day :-)
- I want to thank you for understanding that I try to but perpetually fail to remember to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.
- I want to thank you for knowing that I will probably also forget to shut the lid close of the toothpaste tube (u got a problem my dude!)
- I want to thank you for always knowing that I will leave my wet towel on the bed while I get dressed (I know you're thinking, "No u leave it there for way longer" but don't exaggerate).
- Speaking of getting dressed, I want to thank you for all those nights you waited and will wait for me to get ready just so I can try to look as perfect as possible on your arm.
- I want to thank you for trying sushi after being dead against it. I love that I can go with you now, even though one of the rolls you get is a fried-chicken sushi roll (too easy, I'll leave that one alone lol).
- While we are on food, I want to thank you for eventually giving in to and joining me in my sushi, china buffet, late-night McD's, and chocolate cravings.
- I want to thank you for your honest attempts to massage out the knots in my neck and shoulders and my re-occurring shin splints (lol). Even though it only lasts a few secs I understand ur strong-rugby hands get tired and your libido is high.
- I want to thank you for all those times-of-the-months when you simply ask, "Is it almost that time?" and then calmly and smartly walk away.
- I want to thank you for the subtle hints you drop if I gain a couple pounds. Ex: "Oink, oink!" with a belly pinch.
- I want to thank you for your attempts to get me over my fears like with threats to lock me in the bathroom with a bird or scaring me at night after watching a horror movie.
- I want to thank you for understanding that I was a journalism student and that's why I must point out your grammatical and/or spelling mistakes instantly, even though I make just as many.
- I want to thank you for knowing that my sense of direction sucks only when you are around...one or 2 other people may agree but everyone else can trust me with where they're going. no lie, PROMISE lol
Lastly, I want to thank you for not getting too excited after reading this because you know that the list you have to thank me is waaaaaaay longer...
I love you...
Your H.B.I.C.
This September will make 5 years. I'm glad after all this time, we are both alive meaning neither of us are in jail - pat yourself on the back baby cuz I just hi-fived myself! Your 4 feet long arms could slap your buttawcks (said how Mr. Gump would) if you reached over your shoulder but a pat on the back will do.
We are precisely 7678 miles apart...and I am missing you beyond explanation. Some days, when I'm not so busy, it’s worse because that means I have time to think. And so, I came up with a list of things I have never thanked you for...I might be doing this cuz I know you're not on blogger.com but I'm sure you'll read it one day :-)
- I want to thank you for understanding that I try to but perpetually fail to remember to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.
- I want to thank you for knowing that I will probably also forget to shut the lid close of the toothpaste tube (u got a problem my dude!)
- I want to thank you for always knowing that I will leave my wet towel on the bed while I get dressed (I know you're thinking, "No u leave it there for way longer" but don't exaggerate).
- Speaking of getting dressed, I want to thank you for all those nights you waited and will wait for me to get ready just so I can try to look as perfect as possible on your arm.
- I want to thank you for trying sushi after being dead against it. I love that I can go with you now, even though one of the rolls you get is a fried-chicken sushi roll (too easy, I'll leave that one alone lol).
- While we are on food, I want to thank you for eventually giving in to and joining me in my sushi, china buffet, late-night McD's, and chocolate cravings.
- I want to thank you for your honest attempts to massage out the knots in my neck and shoulders and my re-occurring shin splints (lol). Even though it only lasts a few secs I understand ur strong-rugby hands get tired and your libido is high.
- I want to thank you for all those times-of-the-months when you simply ask, "Is it almost that time?" and then calmly and smartly walk away.
- I want to thank you for the subtle hints you drop if I gain a couple pounds. Ex: "Oink, oink!" with a belly pinch.
- I want to thank you for your attempts to get me over my fears like with threats to lock me in the bathroom with a bird or scaring me at night after watching a horror movie.
- I want to thank you for understanding that I was a journalism student and that's why I must point out your grammatical and/or spelling mistakes instantly, even though I make just as many.
- I want to thank you for knowing that my sense of direction sucks only when you are around...one or 2 other people may agree but everyone else can trust me with where they're going. no lie, PROMISE lol
Lastly, I want to thank you for not getting too excited after reading this because you know that the list you have to thank me is waaaaaaay longer...
I love you...
Your H.B.I.C.
Monday, March 22, 2010
P.S. I Love You or the good good Goose?
WHY do people (the ladies mostly, I think?) put themselves through the pain and agony of watching depressing movies, listening to sad songs (which seem to repeatedly and intuitively play on the radio as if your life is now a broadcasted musical) especially when going through a break-up or another difficult time?
It makes no sense to me...I've been through a couple break ups, one of which was a little harder to swallow than the other, and so I decided to try a different 'moving on' method. Usually, I'm not one to stress over anything for long. I let whatever/whoever bother me for a little while and if by then I haven’t arrived at a solution then I move onto staying busy with something else.
But I was curious. Since almost everyone else I knew did it the “other way” I decided to give the tear-jerking movies and music a shot. 30 secs into the song I was itching to hit the 'next' button; I held on a little longer but about a minute later I changed it. It was constant reminder poking at me, “Hey just in case you forgot…your ass got dumped!” And it brought up all these emotions I didn't want to feel. I had enough to be :'( about and now I'm adding to it???
So I went back to my way of handling headaches and heartaches - staying busy with work, school, on the (tennis) court, weekday and weekend girls'-nights-out, travelling, trying out new fitness classes, etc. Sure, I definitely shed plenty of tears (I am human) over it but I could never sit alone in my apartment and drown in my sorrows for too long. I'm not saying that I'm right and that this is THE WAY to handle a break-up but it worked for me. You could argue that it's a temporary fix and I couldn't contest that because a few months later we ended up getting back together. And I’m glad I didn’t have the chance to wait and find out which way is healthier to completely get over the person and move on.
I've learned that time is the healer of most wounds (I don't want to say all, just yet) and a little patience and prayer will lead you to the answer you’re looking for. All in good time, right? So why stress till then – pass the Goose over this way! CHEERS
*AND by the way I still havent watched P.S. I love you - maybe someday I'll be sick of being happy and want to cry?!?
x
Mel
It makes no sense to me...I've been through a couple break ups, one of which was a little harder to swallow than the other, and so I decided to try a different 'moving on' method. Usually, I'm not one to stress over anything for long. I let whatever/whoever bother me for a little while and if by then I haven’t arrived at a solution then I move onto staying busy with something else.
But I was curious. Since almost everyone else I knew did it the “other way” I decided to give the tear-jerking movies and music a shot. 30 secs into the song I was itching to hit the 'next' button; I held on a little longer but about a minute later I changed it. It was constant reminder poking at me, “Hey just in case you forgot…your ass got dumped!” And it brought up all these emotions I didn't want to feel. I had enough to be :'( about and now I'm adding to it???
So I went back to my way of handling headaches and heartaches - staying busy with work, school, on the (tennis) court, weekday and weekend girls'-nights-out, travelling, trying out new fitness classes, etc. Sure, I definitely shed plenty of tears (I am human) over it but I could never sit alone in my apartment and drown in my sorrows for too long. I'm not saying that I'm right and that this is THE WAY to handle a break-up but it worked for me. You could argue that it's a temporary fix and I couldn't contest that because a few months later we ended up getting back together. And I’m glad I didn’t have the chance to wait and find out which way is healthier to completely get over the person and move on.
I've learned that time is the healer of most wounds (I don't want to say all, just yet) and a little patience and prayer will lead you to the answer you’re looking for. All in good time, right? So why stress till then – pass the Goose over this way! CHEERS
*AND by the way I still havent watched P.S. I love you - maybe someday I'll be sick of being happy and want to cry?!?
x
Mel
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Les randomes
- Poor decisions make for great stories and better memories.
- It would be hard for me to get by without sarcasm and a sense of humor.
- There are times I can look at my watch 5 times and still not know what time is.
- My playlist is always on shuffle and I will continuously skip through until I find the song I want to listen to.
- Taking a dump or nap is suppose to fix 90% of health-related concerns.
- I never wish for this to happen, but God-forbid years to come I find out I have trouble conceiving, I'm calling "Plan B" and asking for all my money back.
- Realized why they coined the name "Starbucks" ...only stars were meant to pay that kinda bucks for a freakin cup of coffee (yea yea, I'll still drink a fancy-ccino IF I really crave it)
- There have been a few occassions where I'm yelling at the person I'm on the phone with because I have 'lost my phone.'
- "Aye you having a bad hair day?" is not a conversation starter thats gonna get you anywhere. Just cuz my hair is big and curly and not silky straight doesnt make it bad! And, shit maybe i was goin for the messed up look - my hair would be the only thing i want messed up, not my night - so pls back up mister and pick ur game off the floor while u at it :-D lol
x
Mel
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
